July

Summer has been different again this year. Luke had tubes put into his ears. I missed three days of work for that. The following week Diondra had tonsils and adnoids removed. I missed most of two weeks for her. Staying home for two weeks was so wonderful. Even though it was
heart breaking watching her hurt, trying to comfort her, insisting she do the things the doctor ordered, it was great just doing things like the breakfast dishes, washing laundry BEFORE there were twelve loads waiting and mildew was a danger. Made me want to be a SAHM again. Even though my marriage stunk..being a home maker and mom was good. Thankfully my grown kids have some good memories from me being home to offset some of the not so good memories of other parts of our lives while they grew up.

I just finished Regional World Geography. It has caused me to be a news addict. Made me so much more aware of what is happening around the world, I can't pass a news stand without reading the stories. Now I'm taking Am. Lit. I knew I would enjoy Lit since I love to read, but it is even more enjoyable than I had thought it would be. It's interesting to me that the short bios of the various authors we are reading frequently mention the author being disillusioned with God or a Transcendentalist or into nature not God, but as you read what they wrote, often there is an underlying theme of longing for the Creator while attempting to worship the creation. I don't know what my Lit teacher would say if I put these thoughts into one of my papers (it will eventually creep in there), but it is interesting to me that even when people are most vocal about their disdain for God, they are unable to ignore Him. Romans 1 mentions the creation displaying the gospel (my paraphrase).

So now I think I'll go spend some time with Him before I go to bed. I still am working on getting back to having God in first place in my life and not down to 20th below school, kids, housework, homework, FCCRS, AFCCA, ABC, etc. etc. I need JESUS to be first. Maybe I need to figure out an accronym for God and it would be easier to get Him into the list ? Oh, that is truly sad.

summer

So it's officially summer. The family has established new routines. We go outside shortly after I get home from work. I carry my homework out on the porch and read Geography in between chasing Luke away from the front steps (which are concrete and scare me). The other children run between the yard, inside for popsicles and drinks, and stopping by to play with Luke as they race back to activities in the yard. This year little Alaina can reach the bar and swing from it. This year Michael can throw a ball across the yard. This year Diondra wants to have a bike without training wheels. This year Jordan wants to roam far and wide. This year Rita wants to just hold on to these relaxing days. The winter was so much work and stress. PILES of work are still waiting....but these days sitting in the summer breeze listening to happy grandkids are what life should be at 58. Joshua sits and visits outside, then goes in and makes supper. We eat supper and then come back outside. I am loving it. I don't want to go to work tomorrow morning--but I will. I'm enjoying my home and my family. One of the great things about moving the preschool was that treasures of mine I had left upstairs in my old bedroom at the old school came home to where I am living now. So things that have graced my walls for years and years are now on the walls here and I feel so at home. I hope we don't have to move again for many many years....and yes, Debbie, I am still praying about Huntsville. But right now I am enjoying a small window of absolute contentment. It's been a long time.

rambling thoughts

You know all week long I have been nearly hyper ventilating worrying and stressing
over each step in the process to open the prek at a new building on Monday.
There is so much involved in doing this, every day but one I had appointments
to meet someone to approve something at the new building. Each appointment
involved not less than 30 minutes of professional viewing/monitoring or advising--
and then at least 30 minutes up to 2 hours of convesation. Great conversation, upbuilding
fun conversation about the profession I love....but it did eat into my time for packing
and moving.

So tomorrow is Sat. and I have a lot to do yet.
The next day is Sun. and I want to REST.

But even as I worried and fussed and stewed and laid awake worrying...none of that
did one bit of good - because God has met the need at every single point. It is
amazing how He has taken care of us. This really must have been his idea.
And, hey, here's a thought. If He's managed to get me throught the week this far,
I just bet He can get me through the final stage of this move!
Lord, send in strong helpers to help carry stuff and enough trucks to do it, too.
Thanks for Your faithfullness.

here's my new scripture Luke 18:1 We ought to pray so as not to lose heart.
Amen.

Giving Birth

Today I helped give birth to a huge baby -- our new state family child care association. On the way home from Little Rock my friend Teresa and I tossed around ideas for a birth announcement for the association. She mentioned that babies need to have help to grow. Our new AFCCA will need a lot of nurturing, some guidance, $$, and people to make the committment. The nineteen people who were there today were willing to give of themselves on a Sat. to come out and find out about AFCCA, and further committed to work to help get AFCCA set up and going. It was an overwhelming experience being part of something so complex and so important. I met some terrific people today. My dear friend Debbie who made this dream become reality wasn't able to be there. She was doing something much more important -- staying close to her mom and dad while they are going through her dad's severe illness. She wasn't with us physically but the words "Debbie Mays" were coming out of people's mouths all morning long. She was with us every step of the way. "Debbie envisioned...." "Debbie wanted..." "Debbie would like..." "Debbie did...." The only person who has a board position at this point in time is Debbie. I'm a little concerned about the desire to piggy back the next state association meeting with a conference in Ft. Smith. I don't quite see how that could work. I will make the phone calls to check into it, but I just don't see how it will work.

Moving again...

Okay, as if my life isn't already complicated I am looking at not one, not two but being involved in THREE moves by April 1. This is crazy and exciting. It came about because I'm really tired of fighting my current landlord where the Prek is located. We have an opportunity to get a building with twice the square footage. My daughter and her family live across the street from the new location. Today they found another place they want to move into. Since we have a swamp for a back yard at this house and the house she is moving out of is just beautiful with storage and a privacy fence around the back yard we are thinking of moving there. We will probably move there, but the idea of moving her family, my family and the preK all by April l is daunting to say the least. I don't know....I'm going to have to do some serious praying here.

technology

Tonight I think I wish it was the 50's again. I know, I know I'd hate going back to a rotary dial phone (although my first pink Princess phone with the light up dial when I got my first apartment was really awesome). I bought a Cricut. That's what happens when you are up eight nights or so in a row with a sick baby. I was rocking, dozing, hoping he'd nod off and for some bizarre reason watching a shopping channel on t.v. I NEVER watch those channels. Probably couldn't find the remote. Anyway--I've been looking at the Cricut die cut thing for months. Some of my friends have one and love it. They had a pretty good offer on the shopping channel for one. So I called to check out the fine print. The gal I got was a mom, she heard the baby fussing in my arms at 3:00 a.m. and was sympathetic. Hey, I'd have bought a roto rooter from someone who gave me sympathy that night! She had a young baby and we compared our babies for a short time. She was so open and friendly, I felt I could trust this girl. Yes, some where in the back of my head I did know she was talking to me so she could make a living. Still, she seemed so genuine. And I do believe she had the baby, she just sounded too real to be faking that and the sympathy. So...I bought it, the Cricut I mean. A week after it arrived I finally found an hour to try it out. The packaging suggested an hour for a first trial with the thing. Well, 45 minutes after putting everything where the book said it should go and three tries I still didn't have anything cut out. So...that's why I want to go back to the 50's. I'm tired of failures with technology, tired of calling my grand daughter and asking her to come over and set up or fix something. I do enjoy modern conveniences. But...I am so tired of 1" thick manuals that come with everything I buy. I want to go back to plug it in, press "on" and the new machine does it's thing.



I think I'd like to go back to chatting on the phone for two hours with my friends instead of emailing in short bursts,facebook or texting. Call me a rebel (don't tell my grandchildren) but I HATE TEXTING. Yes, it's convenient. I wouldn't have much contact with three of my grandkids if I didn't text. My grandkids complain I use too many letters in my words on my texts. Sigh...I am trying to learn to say "dk" instead of "don't know", etc. The problem is this. Back in the days when I could take the time to talk two hours on the phone, the days were longer and my work load was lighter. Now while I talked those two hours I would probably be on the computer doing homework or COPA or WSS (if you don't know--don't ask, you don't want to know), while folding three loads of laundry, diapering the baby and helping someone with homework. I want to really LISTEN to my friends/family again. I don't want to figure out Facebook, charge the cell phone, or even the computer. I think I want to sit down face to face with the ones I love and listen to them.



Am I a bit blue tonight? Yup, almost purply blue. Sometimes fifty seven years old

just isn't fun. Tonight I could use a strong shoulder to cry on. Not because things are so bad, but because I'm over tired and just could use that strong shoulder. That is one of the things I really miss about marriage.



Now here's a laugh. Just for fun I Googled Pink Princess Phone...would you believe there is a website that sells "vintage" phones. The exact one I had is $38.30. They've left on the rotary dial, but put push buttons beneath it so it looks like a dial phone, but it's touch tone. Well, that's enough to give me a giggle and send me off to bed with my head back where it needs to be.

Maybe I'll dream of a pink princess phone tonight. Maybe I'll order one, it would make my son crazy if I changed our phone for a pink princess phone.Hmmmm....sounding better and better....

taxes, budget reports and other issues

Well, yesterday I went to give all my tax stuff to the accountant. Becky is such a blessing. She did not turn pale, scream running out of the room, or have any other negative reaction to my disorganized stuff. She said "this is my job. Let me do my job. Just bundle all your stuff into an envelope like this (plain brown file folder sized envelope) and get it to me. I will deal with the finances, you deal with the kids." I love this lady. She took so much off my shoulders yesterday.

I realized yesterday God keeps putting special people in my path. My friend Debbie constantly builds me up. Ellen has brought dinner twice in the past week (and BROWNIES WITH CHOCOLATE FROSTING on the day I was just losing it). Teresa is always there ready to pray with me. Melissa pulls my chain up short when I need it (that's what pastors are supposed to do...she does it tactfully and well!). I get looking so much at the things that go wrong, I forget to concentrate on all that is going right.

I found a new magazine I love this week. Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Connections magazine. It is packed with articles to build faith, encourage prayer and Bible study. Even included a six hour Bible study on DVD and study guide. I am going to ask Ellen if we can carve out a time to meet one hour per week to do the Bible study together. I'm so excited. I had been praying about a way to get some structure back into my devotion time. I guess I'm weak. If I don't have accountability, I don't do it. I wonder if God shakes His head in disappointment at my lack of umph as I do at my Alaina when I get yet another note from her teacher that she isn't turning in her homework? mmmm...something to consider. Ouch....